Wednesday, June 19, 2013

that man

that man..
he is still in my heart..

that man..
he is still waited by me..

that man..
i still waited for his answer..

that man..
lots of question i want to ask him..

that man..
why did he go...

that man..
why i love him...

that man..
is a punishment to me..

that man..
dry out my heart..

that man..
make my heart cold..

that man..
make me always rejected others..

that man..
really wrapping me up..

that man..
i miss him..

that man..
is he alive??


do people really giving thought on everything that they will do?
do people really giving thought on everything that happened?
do people really giving thought about their mistake?
do people really giving thought on other people way of living?
do people really giving thought about other people feeling?
do people really giving thought about how to do something perfectly?
do people really giving thought about what will happen if thing doesnt go smooth?
do people really giving thought about that?

im not sure..
but as i am also a human..
living nowhere in the world...
sometimes i doesnt give much thought when i really want something..
but sometimes i give thought why my life like this..
sometimes i feel that im useless..
is this my fault for having this way of life..
when i see people smiling at each other..
a thought that they are happy with their life come across my mind..
but me?
i admit that sometimes im happy with everyone..
but still im not satisfied with what happen..
not here.. but a place..
a place that supposedly everyone get the calmness there..
but not me..
sometimes many thoughts come across my mind..
is this my fault?
why sometimes i felt that i need to be responsible for everything..
as i tried to do my best..
until i feel so burdensome..
i feel so tired..
until i dont want happiness anymore..
even not knowing how to act with people..
i suck at moments..
im sad.. and i always pray that..
my life will change..

p/s: life like this? unti when?

Wednesday, January 2, 2013


when things ended beautifully..
we were like 'yes, indeed..'
but when things ended badly..
we were like 'oh no.. crap!!' bulshit and so on..

but first, think about it..
how do we plan it?
and how do we make it happen?
are we following all the plan or we just jumping from one to another because of curiosity and impatient..

when something we plan cant be accomplished..
re-plan, re-instruct and re-do to find its weakness..

second, be prepared...
any plan B?
or do you even have plan C?
instead of having just plan A..

planning can be something huge and great such as planning our life itself..
planning also can be in smaller term such as a ball, a program, etc..
out of something huge like our life, it is divided into many parts..
childhood, teenagers, adult and old man..
and in those parts, it is divided again into couple of stages..
yes, thats true that we cant plan all our life journey..
when, when you start to learn one, be careful as what u decide will make what you are tomorrow..

Monday, December 17, 2012

Better Late Than Never

It’s freezing. What a rainy day. Water keep dropping. I can hear it’s ticking on the roof. And now. I  am missing sunny day. Yes, like people said. Man will appreciate things when It’s gone. And while they still got a hold at it, they leave them behind and as if they never exist. So, men.. learn from it..
When we talks about the effects of what we are doing, we were like trembling apart in and out, upside down. Always. Why? Because when we said it is an ‘effect’. We talk about what happened after. So, its between bad or good.
We want everything to be good and at their best state and stages. But, we always forgot that ‘bad things’ happen after.
So, to avoid this like man always said, be careful. But remember. In doing something, don’t hesitate. ‘better late than never’. Sometimes it is worth trying than never do it ever. Because we cant see the future. Maybe it’s a chance for us to make changes. An innovation. A creation. Who knows…

Fate and Faith

I see people dying. I have to help them. I have the capability. All the skills. I know I can do it. And that is my job everyday. This is what I do.
But, fate is in God’s hand. I just cant help trying my best to save people’s life. And sometimes I failed. I blame myself. Maybe its my fault. Sometimes I lost in the middle of life chaos. It felt like I couldn’t catch up with it. And I fell again. Oh God… its so heavy…
There, I see a light. The moment where I first gone through the stages of being able to make my dream’s real come. I see the happiness of people thanking us for my deed. There, I know I can do it. I’m human. ‘Be tough’. I know I can do it. Do my best and let God make the rest.